A Preview for You

How were your winters?  When I lived in Santa Monica, winters never bothered me that much (an El Nino here and there, big woop), but now that I'm in NY, it's turned turned my world around.  I had a creatively - emotionally - physically rough winter and now that it's Spring I'm on the up and up!  Apart from trying to eat 100 BBQ's over the summer (yes, 3 months in a season = 91 days = I'm crazy), I've been working on a new ring.  To my 6 followers: thanks for supporting me.  Here's a preview for you:

Listen to: Family Tree by TV on the Radio

Stay tuned...

Dream Catcher Bracelet

Who here dreams?  (Raise your hands)

I don't mean dreams like the ones you have while you're sleeping (e.g. flying through the air, trying to get away from the monster that lives in your toilet).  Nor do I mean dreams you doze off to while at your desk around 2:45pm of the cute boy you saw on the subway (yeah I caught you, stop blushing).  And no, not the scheming dreams like going through your closet in your mind, putting together the best combination worthy of debuting the new shoes you're carrying in your hand.

I'm talking about the dreams you had when you were 5 or 10 years old - of your grown-up job, your family, if you were in a mansion or a shack - porsche or a volvo - had 1 or 5 kids (wait... that's MASH).

After my first semester at FIT, I was confused.  I didn't understand what my path was.  What are my steps?  What do I do with this trade I'm learning?  How do I make money?  What does being an artist mean?  Does a degree make me an artist?  Was making jewelry an art?  Ahhhh!!

I turned to my teacher for advice (you remember the teacher that had me saw out a dozen circles by hand).  Sweet Japanese man - think Mr. Miyagi, but not as athletic.  Chie grinned:  "Your past is your past.  You have to forget it.  Art is very different.  There are no answer to your questions"

Waaa?!?!  What do you mean no answers?

"Colleen, Just dream big.  

Dream really really big because this dream will find you."

What does that mean?  To dream.  I can't remember how to do that.  At what point during the course of my life did I stop dreaming?  WHY did I stop dreaming?  Do other people do it?!  

I think I stopped dreaming when I was told to start making goals.  Essentially it's the same, but "goals" feel restricting and concrete.  Making goals stripped the fun out of dreaming.  It was easy for me to say "In 5 years, I will be a CPA".  But it didn't even dawn on me to try and imagine what my life would look like in 20 years.   What will the environment around me look like?  What kinds of people do I want in my life?  What will I be feeling?  What will make me happy?  I was taught that to be successful in life, you have to make goals.  Here I am, 30 years old, and finally someone is teaching me that to be successful, in how we measure success for ourselves, we just have to dream.

        

(Click here to see the final piece)

So go ahead and make your goals.  But never stop playing MASH.

Starving Artist?

Man: Hi, Howzit goin?

Me:   Good, you?

Man: What's with this weather?

Me:  I don't know!  I'm from California, I don't understand the cold...

I was at a bar having your standard string of small talk.  At the time, I recently moved to New York and was in my "I'll talk to anyone because I just moved here" state of mind.   The guy seemed friendly enough - in a button down stripey shirt, sleeves rolled up, black slacks, so-so black shoes, silver fossil watch (all of you have met this guy, I know).

Man:  So what do you do?

Me:    I'm in school.  FIT studying jewelry design.

Man is silent.

Me:    No, I'm not 18.  (I knew what he was thinking)  I changed careers, I was once in corporate finance and now I'm studying jewelry.

Man: Ohhh, you're doing the starving artist thing...

What is that suppose to mean?  Why, because I didn't own a 70" flat screen TV, am still wearing clothes I bought in 2003, and don't have the latest gizmo-gadget-iphone-stormberry - this makes me "starving"?   He's at a bar, on a weekday, coming from work in his robot work clothes - I'd say his happiness is the one starving.  

But I shouldn't be so hard on him because I was once him (well, not exactly him, I'd never wear that outfit, and I never judged other people's lives).  I thought because I was climbing to the top, because I was doing something I'd been trained to do, that I thought I'd been wanting to do my whole life made me "successful".  Because even though I use to work endless hours, I justified it by having enough miles to go on exotic vacations, eat Nobu like they're my personal chef (I didn't really do this), and live the life my parents always wanted me to have...

Douchebag: So why change from finance?

Me:  Because I didn't love it. 

~The END~

I'd love to hear your take on this - please comment!

Wood and Screws

A few weeks ago I went to the Sculptural Objects and Functional Art (SOFA) exhibit at the Park Ave Armory.  It comes every year and is my favorite exhibit to go to.  I was obsessed with the sculptures by Jeahyo Lee, from Korea.  His pieces look blobby from afar, but as you get closer, the materials become more apparent.

Made with a bunch of screws

When I'm rich and have a huge house, I'm buying this.

I asked to lay on this and they let me!

What if our sun looked like this?

Thanks, Jeahyo for doing what you do.  It's incredible.

Cooking with Tools

I eat the KIND nut bars at least once/day... addicted.  It's becoming a more expensive habit than coffee.  One day I figured it out: $1.60+8.7% Tax x 7 days/week x 4 weeks ~ $50/month.  Gasp!  I could have eaten steak!

I started googling around and found gluten free almond power bar recipe by Elena's Pantry and thought I'd try it out.  

Here are the ingredients I used:

(I omitted chocolate, and added dates and a raw hide mallet)

Yes, you read that right, I'm using a raw hide mallet.  I don't own a food processor, and spending $100+ just to make a bunch of nut bars defeats the purpose of saving $50/week to eat steak.  Now I can go from forging metal to making nut bars - sweet!

Nuts are all crushed.  Mix all of the other ingredients (as directed) and vuala!  Nut bars!

These ingredients cost under $20.  Except it was so good I ate all of it in 2 days.

Disclaimer:  No animals or people were harmed during my hammering cooking process (not this time at least).  Don't worry, my cholesterol is fine.  I do not eat steak weekly - I said that just to throw in some drama. 

Happy Cinco de Mayo

She thought she was going to get posted on Facebook, but I think if you're going to wear a taco suit with high heels, it's worthy of the WWW.  

A Lesson from Dude

For me, being creative means reaching within and expressing yourself through art.  Though it's fulfilling, it leaves me feeling more vulnerable than I've ever felt. Ever. (Putting your thoughts out there on the WWW for everyone to see is a close second)  After my first semester at FIT, I was still wondering if I was cut out to be an artist.  I didn't understand what that meant.  Were my designs good enough?  Are they different enough?  Was I good enough?


A friend of a friend (who will remain nameless) took a lot of interest in what I was doing since he went to art school for undergrad and his girlfriend at the time studied jewelry (mind you, that was 12 years ago, when he was 19).

I show him some stuff - my first hand sawn ring I made from scratch and a 5 hinge bracelet with hand made bezel settings from my first soldering class.  Ever.


He looks at it.  Closely examines every nook and cranny.  If the dude owned a loop, he would have whipped it out.  His face is expressionless.


Dude:  Colleen, this isn't good
Me:  {in shock} Huh?  (he proceeds to point out every flaw in my pieces)

My head:  Did I ask for your opinion?

Dude:  I'm sorry to be hard on you but you need to hear it like it is. It's not good enough.
Me:  But it's my first sawing and soldering class...
Dude:  Well you shouldn't leave it this way, you should have done it over.

{gasp}

Me: There's no time!
Dude:  My girlfriend in college always made time. She had her own bench and would work all night.  (surprise surprise!  All nighters with a saw in one hand and a torch in the other is not recommended)  Colleen, you're not working hard enough.  You have to work harder.  You'll thank me later for telling you.


I've never wanted to see someone dead so badly before.  I could feel the steam coming off of my head and hands (like in the cartoons).


I know what hard work is -- I use to work 75-100 hours/week (no time for lunch), I studied non-stop for months for my CPA exam.  Work even invaded my dreams - and those are non-billable hours!  However, having had that experience, I can say with full confidence that I have never worked harder than I did while at FIT.  I was out to prove something.  Prove it to my parents, to my peers, to the people who thought I was nuts for leaving my career.  I was out to prove it to myself.  So much so that I WOULD do projects over and over, to the point where my teacher would say "Colleen, it can't be perfect. Nobody's perfect"  And then I would do it again.  And again it wasn't perfect.


Now, I realize that Dude was saying to me what I had been saying to myself this whole time.  If I was offended and angry at him, why on earth would I say that to myself?  I truly believe that everyone has their own pace in life and are on their own journey.  So Dude, you were right.  It's been 2.5 years and I thank you for reminding me to believe in myself, and not to listen to pricks like you.

(I lost this ring shortly after)

On a positive note, check out the rings I make now!
Rose Bud
Predictions
Smoke Rings

My Sunny Saturday

Directions:
1.  Click this and open in new tab/window
2.  Sit back, relax and slowly scroll through

Welcome to my sunny Saturday...

Walking over the Brooklyn Bridge

Caught in the middle of the NYC 5 Borough Bike Tour

Birds in place of an A/C unit

Someone tell Jem and the Holograms I found their plush guitar

Picnic at Prospect Park

Modern day ant farm?

Stumbled on a BBQ and jam session

We work so hard during the week, it's important for us to take at least 1 day off to appreciate the world around us.  As my friend said "Thank you universe for our sunny day!"  (Can someone please pass the aloe?)

Obsessed: Chie Mihara Shoes

I don't allow myself to shop as much as I want to (disposable income needs to go towards raw materials, not shoes!  wa waaaa)  However, one cold winter day, in a moment of weakness, I stumbled upon these beautiful shoes by Chie Mihara and it was love at first sight.  Love, meaning would I marry them?  Why yes, I would marry them!  They're more dependable than any man I've dated, so why not?

Living in New York, makes me very picky, rather, intolerable of most shoes - I mean when you're on your feet walking for 4 hours through Manhattan, there's not much outside of New Balance shoes that will keep you pain-free.  These puppies, though, can carry me through an entire night of running around - no problem.

In her new Spring collection, Ms. Mihara says "A toast to life -- This new collection is all about positive energy: it's about renewing your thoughts and enjoying a fresh breeze in these times." -- Don't you worry, I will do my civic duty of supporting positive energy and world peace.  I will buy shoes!  (but which ones?)