Colleen Choi's Jewelry: A Lesson from Dude

For me, being creative means reaching within and expressing yourself through art. Though it's fulfilling, it leaves me feeling more vulnerable than I've ever felt. Ever. (Putting your thoughts out there on the WWW for everyone to see is a close second) After my first semester at FIT, I was still wondering if I was cut out to be an artist. I didn't understand what that meant. Were my designs good enough? Are they different enough? Was I good enough?

A friend of a friend (who will remain nameless) took a lot of interest in what I was doing since he went to art school for undergrad and his girlfriend at the time studied jewelry (mind you, that was 12 years ago, when he was 19).

I show him some stuff - my first hand sawn ring I made from scratch and a 5 hinge bracelet with hand made bezel settings from my first soldering class. Ever.

He looks at it. Closely examines every nook and cranny. If the dude owned a loop, he would have whipped it out. His face is expressionless.

Dude: Colleen, this isn't good
Me: {in shock} Huh? (he proceeds to point out every flaw in my pieces)

My head: Did I ask for your opinion?

Dude: I'm sorry to be hard on you but you need to hear it like it is. It's not good enough.
Me: But it's my first sawing and soldering class...
Dude: Well you shouldn't leave it this way, you should have done it over.

{gasp}

Me: There's no time!
Dude: My girlfriend in college always made time. She had her own bench and would work all night. (surprise surprise! All nighters with a saw in one hand and a torch in the other is not recommended) Colleen, you're not working hard enough. You have to work harder. You'll thank me later for telling you.

I've never wanted to see someone dead so badly before. I could feel the steam coming off of my head and hands (like in the cartoons).

I know what hard work is -- I use to work 75-100 hours/week (no time for lunch), I studied non-stop for months for my CPA exam. Work even invaded my dreams - and those are non-billable hours! However, having had that experience, I can say with full confidence that I have never worked harder than I did while at FIT. I was out to prove something. Prove it to my parents, to my peers, to the people who thought I was nuts for leaving my career. I was out to prove it to myself. So much so that I WOULD do projects over and over, to the point where my teacher would say "Colleen, it can't be perfect. Nobody's perfect" And then I would do it again. And again it wasn't perfect.

Now, I realize that Dude was saying to me what I had been saying to myself this whole time. If I was offended and angry at him, why on earth would I say that to myself? I truly believe that everyone has their own pace in life and are on their own journey. So Dude, you were right. It's been 2.5 years and I thank you for reminding me to believe in myself, and not to listen to pricks like you.